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I will make it!

Motivational blog.

An ongoing series of informational entries

If I commit all the way, without scaring myself out of what I really want, I will win!

01/14/2017

If I commit all the way, without scaring myself out of what I really want, I will win!

Yes! I said it. We have power over our lives and seem to forget it. Commitment to ourselves, what we do and what we want become is a key part to success. A great man once said,

“Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality”. -Abraham Lincoln-


You must commit to becoming great. To leave a legacy that represents you and what you believe in. It takes a lot of commitment to live our dreams, and it is hard work. You must wake up and choose to take the chance to be you, the best you.

"All dreams come true if we have the courage to pursue them” -Walt Disney


You must be ready to commit through fear and negativity. Because on your way to following your dreams, many of you will doubt yourself. Many will tell you what they want you to do and what they think your limits are. You the know that type, right? They are always telling you what's wrong with life instead of what’s right. I mean, we don’t need help recognizing what's wrong in our lives. Let us talk about what is right in life and how can we become what we want to become… our dreams!

But, you know as well as I know that the naysayers aren’t the problem. No, you know what the problem is? Because it’s no secret the flaw we as humans share. We believe what people think of us. The problem, is that at times, if we hear something enough times, we tend to believe it. When others doubt our ideas, and dreams we begin to believe it as well and set those as limits for ourselves. I did. I believed every negasuarus Rex that told me what my future would turn out to be. Even in school, as small kids teachers would remind us that statistically, a large percentage of males from the neighborhoods we came from would be in jail. I mean, it was true, but hearing from the teachers made it certain to me and the friends around me. Even though I was constantly told otherwise, I would day dream about owning a business and dream I believed it. It was only until I began to commit to myself and what I believed in that it started to work out. Because, it matters not who believes in you, if you don’t believe in yourself. Identify who you are, what you want, and commit to how you are going to get it and success will follow! Become the person you want to be. Losing is only an option you can give yourself. No one else can give you that option, so refuse to lose and commit to your dreams, goal, and yourself.  

When you open your eyes

01/18/2017

When you open your eyes in the morning, noon, and night, do you really know what that truly means? We complain about going to work or having to handle problems. But, do we truly understand what it means to open your eyes for that day? It’s a testament… proof that today you have received an opportunity. You have received a second chance to be greater than you were yesterday. To try and fix any of yesterday’s problems. You see, Life wants more of you, more of what you have to offer. Life told you this morning, show me what you got today. Life makes no mistakes as it brought you into the day that is today. Don’t waste time in asking "Why you?". Things are happening in the way they are supposed to happen because you are strong enough to handle it. You are the one to make something out of the situation you find yourself in. Life is asking you to please show up and show out. Life chose you today! You want proof? You woke up and death did not call you. You beat death today, you rose as the sun did, you have another opportunity to show the world who you are!

Life wants more of you, so don’t disappoint. Live with a purpose, so life can be purposeful. Let the world feel your steps as you walk with pride. Let the world see you and demand attention. Don’t let challenges get in your way as they are character building tools to make you better than you were yesterday.

Walk like you mean it

Speak as if you matter

Live like it’s a blessing

The moment you feel as if you want to give up, is the moment to go hard. Harder than the next day, harder than yesterday. Don’t give up now! Open your eyes because life is calling and I think it's time for you to answer

It's all about perspective!

01/24/2017

How do you see people, places, and things? What is important to you and what is not? The why of your place in this world. It matters more than you might think. We as humans tend to believe things happen that are out of our control. What if I told you control of your life and how it turns out is only controlled by you, how you feel, and how you see things.

If you think and say your life sucks, then I'm sure it sucks period.

Think about it, your actions can only imitate your feelings or your prospective.

When I thought, I was a loser guess what I was a loser

When I felt, I would never make it, I lived as I would never make it

When teachers, told me statistically I would be in jail or dead by the time I was 18 I lived in such a way. Dropping out of high school having kids at a young age in poverty.

My perspective was that of one whose life would end at 18.

But then, I woke up and realized I was 20 and still here, I realized what they said was wrong and so was my perspective.

I learned that you must believe in yourself more than anybody else could.

You must love yourself better than anybody could.

You must believe in your purpose

And commit to your life.

Before reaching your dreams, you must see and believe in your dream. Understand that challenge will come and go as life test your strength and your abilities. Be you, and no one else! Change how you feel, see, and act. Get up in the morning and do instead of ask. Demand greatness because we all deserve it.

I saw god when he looked at me: how I found god, religion, and church

02/09/2017

As I grew up on a traditional Christian family. Religion, faith, spirituality, and god was a concept I could not understand. I went to church, prayed, and even spent Sunday in bible studies as a child. But as I grew older and witnessed terrible things in the place I came from I began to move further from what I was told religion was. I could understand the concept of a magical being that created me was watching me and billions of others at the same time to see if we did good or bad. It felt as if nothing could be so magical. As I saw pregnant women smoking crack in the hall ways and people I knew to be good would be killed or stabbed because of shoes. It felt as if the religion I was told to believe in lied. As I furthered myself from the religion I began to have less remorse for mistakes I made.

I knew something was wrong because I still believed somewhat that something other than what we see or hear must be guiding this earth. Then I would quickly dismiss those thoughts as misplaced hopes of becoming something better in life. I guess what I am trying to say is I was very confused about what god is or religion. As time went on and life became more difficult it pushed me even further from religion and God. I began to believe that reality is only what you can touch see and or smell. I began to believe that this physical plain is all that can exist. How can it be that something I cannot see be true.?

Then things changed in a way that I never thought possible. I SAW GOD!! it sounds a bit wired but it is true. The day I planned to check out of this world as I looked out over a balcony my kids called me over. The thing is I was in a bad place trying to figure out how to raise three kids on my own with no money or opportunities. That day I looked into the eyes of my children and I saw God. I saw him clear as day looking back at me and explaining my purpose. I then realized it was possible to see feel and hear god. I know this to be true because on that very moment I realized what I was here to do and why I was brought into this existence. Everything change from that day on. This was my spiritual concept, this was my god. They, the children were the only ones that I behaved as holy as possible when I was I front of them. Because when they look at me I felt like the only thing that matters is the fact that we are together and breathing. All material things disappeared as my spiritual connection with them became real. I felt special. I felt wanted. I felt purpose.

I felt something I never felt before. I felt as if God choose me for a job. The job of successfully breaking the cycle I brought kids into. With God is in their soul, church in their eyes I could no longer loose. I understood what God was telling me. I understood what purpose meant. I found my spirituality.

Principles of Thrive #1

03/04/2017

A few days ago, I was featured in a pod cast interview about my book, Tales of an Underdog. This was the first time ever interview and I was asked a question that left me pondering. In the interview, I was asked to name the key points that allowed me to turn my life around so others could learn from it. So, I started to think about what are the key points I could attribute the change to and came up with some very interesting points. I call them Principles of thrive: What helped me overcome. I also assured I had a clear example during my hard times that would backup this principle and explain how they can be used. I will write about these principles in separate blogs to let the individual principles sink in and help someone out there. The first principle of thrive is one if not the most important principle and needs to be the first step of changing or overcoming challenges.

Define your success

Yes, this principle is a crucial first step to making any change in your life or overcoming any challenge. It sounds simple, but in fact success can be difficult to define. This is because society has labeled success as a materialistic thing. It could be, but the meaning of success is a personal thing that can only be defined by the individual person. In the past I thought success was the amount of money in my pocket and or bank account. Success was the clothes I wear or the type of car I drive. Success was how big my house was. This I thought was my why.

But, life as it does many times taught me different. It showed me I was completely wrong about what I defined as success and this is how. I opened an insurance brokerage company that became very successful. I could obtain the cars I wanted wore the clothes I liked and had a home big enough that certain rooms where never used. I thought that once I reached these goals I would be the happiest person in the world. This was further from the truth as I still felt empty inside. In fact, I felt emptier than I did when I did not have these items. I spent all my day working and building. But the more I earned the worst I felt. At the time, I did not understand and thought if I earned more this feeling of emptiness would go away.

Then it happened! My business burnt to the ground. At the time, I thought it was the worst thing I have ever been through. I began to lose all I worked for. I lost the cars, money, and lastly the home. I thought life was over and I would never be able to face the world. I can remember the day me and the family moved to a small apartment I cried like a baby. I thought I was no longer special or needed. But as time went by I started to feel different. You see I was starting to spend more time with my family and enjoying myself. I began to realize I did not lose myself but the weight of materialistic things needed to constantly go after to keep up with the life style. Soon enough the small apartment felt like a mansion as I played more with my kids. I now had time to cook for them, take them to parks, and spend time with my wife. By the end of it all I felt more successful seeing my family happy. Seeing my kids through the successful completion of high school. Watching them get out of my car on the first day of college. I now had time to finish my degree.

You see I figured out that my success had nothing to do with the material things I obtain. Success for me was being there for my family and helping them succeed. I now understand what my definition of success is. Have you defined yours yet? If not, it’s time to look in the mirror and find it.

The next blog post will talk about owning it. This is the next principle of thrive.

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Principles of Thrive # 2

04/05/2017

Surround yourself with people that care for you and believe in you as much or more than you believe in yourself. Because, on the way to following your success many challenges will emerge. Many "so called" failures and losses will happen. With this being said, having someone that can help you see past your "so called" failures or loses can help you gain your focus on the bigger picture or the long game. Because, success is bigger than one challenge. Success, whatever you believe success is, happens when multiple right parts come together in life. 

I can remember my darkest hour as I sat in a hotel room trying to figure out how I would get  out of my mess, my cheerleader helped. Not with money or opportunities but something better...words!

You see, she constantly told me to give up... GIVING UP. She forced me to believe in myself, my intelligence, and my skills. She was and still is my cheerleader. I mean let's face it even the most positive person has a bad day. This is when a cheerleader gets you back in the game. 

It's time to take inventory, of people not of things. Because, the biggest threat to your success will come from those around you. Take inventory and see who has supported your vision, thoughts, feelings, beliefs,and dreams. If people do not fit these specifications it's time to let them go. Stop trying to fix everyone because fixing yourself is a full time job. Make sure you have a cheerleader or cheerleaders to push you into your dreams not hold you back. I highly stand by this word of thrive. I can prove it, because 15years later I am not only still with my cheerleader. I am also married to her...

Change can be difficult, what you need to know.

06/16/2017

Change can be difficult, what you need to know!

There comes a time when we realize that change can only occur within one self. For many this can be difficult. Even the mere mention of change can make one feel uncomfortable. But, sometimes it’s an action that must be accomplished to achieve success in one’s life or when one needs different outcomes. In these series of articles Carolina Alvarez, a children and family therapist for over 10 years and Julio C Caba author of Tales of an Underdog will discuss steps to change. These steps come from real life experiences and tried and proven therapeutic techniques. It will not be easy; as change never is, but can give those that want to change a different perspective in hopes of motivating those in need.

In this part, we will discuss the number one factor to change. To begin the change process, we must first force ourselves to see our lives from another perspective. We must do one of the hardest things, look at the mirror and ask the deep and hard questions of self. This is vital to change because it will allow you to see what it is that you need to change. This is the moment you must be brutally honest with yourself. You must find out how is it your own fault that certain situation occurs. Even if you are completely convinced or you are very sure the fault lays with others. This is because most of the time you cannot change others and only have the power to change self.

Julio C Caba: One of the best changes I made in my life that helped me change everything was placing blame on myself. Even if a situation was caused by another person; I go deeper and ask how did I get involved with that person or is there something I could have done to protect myself from people that would put me at risk. The funny part is after some time of thinking this way I discover how I could have avoided it even if I had no control. In the case of becoming a single father, it was not my fault that the mother of my children left my children behind. But it was my fault that I was involved with a person with such character. Warning signs existed but I choose to ignore them. This lead to me putting protections in place or test of character before trusting people. This has led to me only having great people that Match my personality around me.

Carolina Alvarez: One of the best changes I have made in my life is accepting my individuality and owning my decisions. I became the mother to 3 children without giving birth to them and I became a wife without getting married. All these decisions were mine but I did not own them, I continuously gave credit to this happening to me but not recognizing and accepting that I made these decisions. One I owned it, everyone around me including my family of origin accepted my decision to be a mother and a wife because in their mind as in mine it was not my decision it just happened and they resented this. But , when I owned my decision to being a great mother to my children and a great partner to my husband my perspective in life change and my parents and sibling’s perspective about my life changes too.

Change only happens when you are ready for it!

As a therapist and all my years of experience I have encountered that the best way for a person to make changes is when they are ready. Change is process were an individual identifies a behavior they would like to change or modify. They can analyze and make a list of things that might have worked in the past and things they have done that do not work. You can start with this exercise:

Take inventory of what goals you have, or what you want to do with your life.

Write down your plans from year 1 to year 5 to help you achieve your goal

Evaluate your behavior or current situation along with any barriers you may have.

What and how needs to change to reach your goal.

Change, get rid of or modify your behavior.

Identify those who can and cannot help you to achieve this goal and write their name down.

Inform the ones that can help you about your goal

And stay away from the ones that cannot help you or unmotivated you.

This is just the first step in your quest for change. These series of articles will discuss different strategies to changing. The next part discussed will be environment. If you would like to get updates when articles are submitted add yourself to our email list.

Author: Carolina Alvarez L.M.F.T                                   Author: Julio C Caba m.b.a

Change M.F.C.R                                                                  Tales of an Underdog

www.changetherapy.vpweb.com                                      Available on Amazon

www.myindividualandfamilycounseling.com              www.talesofanunderdog.com

                                                                                              www.julioccaba.com

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